Ken and Andy Show, The

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American Appetite: Tales of Dirty Young Boys & Spry Old Men, The
An Evening At Home
Anablep and Other Oddities
Back to Kroenig
Beckett's Last Dance
Beneath Sita's Belly
Black Box Confessions
Blue Sofa
Candistan
Caught Sleeping
Cleopatra!-And Antony
ClockBusters
Death Blow - The Show
Devouring Time
Engineer and The Artist, The
Enronicles
Exit Laughing!
F--king Handicapped Guy
Fred Anderson -Professional Goofball!
Full Spectrum Improvisation
George Bush's Nuts
Getting It Wrong
Guano dell' Amore - ("Birdshit of Love")
Gulag Ha Ha
Interactive Solo Performer Daniel Packard
Ken and Andy Show, The
Lillie, A Musical
Looking, Then Pointing
Mad Adventures of Chaos For Hire, The
Me Laugh You Long Time
Menopause and Desire: Or Why Must I Be Middle Aged and In Love?
Microclimates: A Crime Against Gravity or The Burrito From Sausalito
My Son, the Mummy: Episode Pi
nEO-sURREALIST sYSTEMS pRESENTS: HOE- DOWN!!!!!
Objects In Mirror (May Be Closer Than They Appear)
OUTTAKES: Monologues, Stories, and Social Commentary
Rise And Fall of The US/them Empire, The
Smashing Icons
Something You Might Want
Song in Your Blood, The
Spray
Stranger In Woodstock
Surfing Toasters
Survival of the Fit Enough/ Fern
Talking To Myself
Tangled
Uncle Jacques' Symphony
Underground Movement Theatre
Upper Canada Cougar Movement, The
Valentine's Play Time
Way Light Strikes Filled Mason Jars, The
Winterkill
Woods For The Trees
Zucchini: The Forbidden Dance!

THE KEN AND ANDY SHOW
KEN TAYLOR AND ANDY BARRETT
THE KEN AND ANDY SHOW
SAN FRANCISCO, CA
60 MINUTES
PLAY-COMEDY
NOT FOR CHILDREN
MATURE CONTENT, COARSE LANGUAGE

The Yoda Council of the Astral Plane hereby invites you to experience the two most self-absorbed people on the face of the planet! The Ken and Andy Show is a soy-based entertainment substitute, a metaphysical comedy, and a staggering tour de force of narcissism. In one hour we merge the body and mind of the two characters and unleash a tidal wave of human potential.
"Makes Harry Potter seem like a shallow, self-indulgent tit-flick." -Roger Ebert
"I laughed until I stopped." - Peter Barrett
"Maybe I didn't give him enough attention. I don't know. I mean...I've thought about it and thought about it." - Ken's Mom
"I haven't seen anything this good in ages." - Stevie Wonder

VENUE: EXIT THEATRE

THURSDAY 5 8:30 PM
SATURDAY 7 5:30 PM
SATURDAY 14 10:00 PM
SUNDAY 15 1:00 PM

$8

STARRING:
Andy Barrett as ANDY
Ken Taylor as KEN
Andrew Bancroft as BITCH MONKEY

ANDY'S BIO

My body is an antenna. I am channeling this:

My mother was a hippie and my father was an alcoholic. I was born in 1971 at a Grateful Dead concert. My life has not been easy. I have had great burdens thrust upon my shoulders. At age 9, I had my first experience of channeling-and of being misunderstood. I was playing the lead in my 2nd grade play, and when the opening night curtain rose, having stripped naked under my wizard's robe, I flung it open and screamed, "Feel my magic! Feel my power!"
I was sent to gestalt-regression-primal-urge analysis. There, while dialoguing with my left thumb, I had the first of many past life experiences. Gloria Gaynor's I Will Survive shot into the top of my head like a bolt of lightning then bellowed out of my mouth like a gay foghorn. This was my first experience of my body as an antenna.
My parent's divorce was no surprise. We had always had the most pathetic Christmas trees-weird, spindly "evergreens" that looked like my father got them at Auschwitz Christmas Gardens. Then one year he brought home a Christmas cactus, with a racquetball in it. I reacted the only way I could, dressing as Anne of Green Gables and singing Tradition from Fiddler on the Roof over and over. The next day he brought home a Wandering Jew covered in red sauce. We never saw him after that.
Over the next few years, I would channel many past lives: William Shakespeare, Ninja master Hiroshi Wu Tang, Jesus Christ, Mae West… I began to realize my path would be challenging. I knew I had to treat myself delicately in order to preserve my priceless chi. Being sensitive and theatrical brought its share of ridicule during high school, and I spent most of my time as a volunteer body at the local massage college.
After graduation I applied for theatrical training at a number of prestigious colleges, but the scarcity of acceptance letters told me a formal education was beneath me, and that my path would be more iconoclastic. I immediately began to do nothing. This was my first experience of the power of my focus. It was shattered however when my now yuppie mother forced me to get a job. I was hired by a zillionaire who threw lavish theme parties, and often worked eight-hour days. Eventually my employer blew all his money on a massive lingerie party, and I was out of work.
Soon after, when my spirit was beginning to crack, I received a transmission from the astral plane. It told me to go to the woods and meditate. Out in nature, feeling the energy of the redwoods, I began the first spontaneous yoga performance of my life. My body bent backwards until my palms were on the ground. A wave of warm, euphoric energy released from the base of my spine to the crown of my head. I began to move, joints popping and releasing years of stress and trauma. I was on God's massage table. He told me to eat the healthiest diet, do yoga daily, and to hone my body into the most sensitive, receptive antenna, through which he would broadcast love and peace energy to the corners of the universe. Then, a horse drawn carriage pulled up, and Laurence Olivier hopped out. He said, "Old chum, under normal circumstances, I couldn't transfer my soul to yours since we've been alive at the same time, but I always wanted to jam, as I believe you chaps call it, with Gloria Gaynor, and would quite appreciate it if you could synthesize our energies. Cheers." He then slapped my ass, flooding me with his theatrical brilliance.
That's how I became The Greatest Theatrical Genius of All Time.

Namaste.

KEN'S BIO

People like me. Especially chicks. I'm smart. I understand how things work, and I can move physical objects with my mind. In the shower the other day, I made the Finesse bottle hop a little. I'm the center of all things. As my mood swings, so goes the NASDAQ. I skipped lunch one day and Mike Tyson bit Lennox Lewis on the leg. These are not coincidences.
Girls have always swarmed to me. Well not swarmed. I lost my virginity at 24, but since then I've been the Hugh Hefner of the non-publishing world. I once banged two Mormon flight attendants on the Old North Bridge. I got it on with a Teletubbie…
I'm getting ahead of myself. Maybe I should tell you about the hours I spent under the porch, playing Dungeons and Dragons with Justin LaFeeve. Or the time I mixed gas and Kool-aid to make napalm, and burned down our doublewide mobile home. But when it comes down to it, there isn't much to say about my childhood. I wasn't the most popular kid around. Didn't get into college. So what? What do IQ scores have to do with intelligence quotient anyway?
I have developed a plan to cure all sexually transmitted diseases with one single vaccination: The Kennidote. Then we're going to stage a year long rave on Machupichu to celebrate the birth of a new, evolved human culture. A culture where no child is ridiculed because of his SAT scores, where no ideas are "silly manifestations of your own insecurities," and everyone gets laid as much as they want. I mean, wasn't everything better when the President was getting blowjobs?
So forget the past. We are on the verge of a new era. A time when anything is possible. A time when tow-trucks don't just fix flats, but also deliver fresh, steaming Hot Pockets.
Look, I don't vote. I don't know what the word "pundit" means. But that doesn't mean I shouldn't be running the world. You might say, "Ken's too busy chasing tail to think about the future." But I say, "Let's open a mental hospital for livestock suffering from Mad Cow Disease." Yeah, wow.
Everybody wants to talk about what's wrong with society. I don't worry about that stuff. If you want theories about America's political problems, ask Andy. I'm too busy thinking about the good stuff. Grilled cheese sandwiches. State mottos. McGyver. Sure, I could tell you about my job at the meatpacking plant. Or, maybe you'd like to hear about my creative endeavors. Isolation artwork, communal poetry, circus movement…cutting edge stuff. I'm a performer, an artist and a creative mastermind, no doubt about it.
I could tell you what it's like to be six years old and watch as your mom drives away forever. What it's like to cook TV dinners every night of the week because your dad is too depressed to get off the couch, even to change his tank top. Or I could write about what it's like to have your one, true love leave you for a one-eyed circus freak with a vagina tattoo on his face. But why bore you with details? When it comes down to it, you gotta think big-but sometimes it's the little things. I once dug a hole that was six feet deep for no reason. That pretty much sums it up